I have been pretty quiet about my current pregnancy to this point,
aside from announcing it the very day that I saw that double pink line
that is. I think after multiple miscarriages there tends to be a fear
of "jinxing it." I had this very irrational idea that if I talked about
my pregnancy before "x" number of weeks I would miscarry. Since joining
a support group for pregnancy after loss I have learned that this
feeling isn't unusual and now that I have reached that magical number,
which for me was 16 weeks pregnant, I feel that I can talk about it.
Actually reaching 16 weeks wasn't the milestone so much as reaching 16
weeks and hearing the heartbeat and having my midwife tell me the baby
is a-okay. So, here is my pregnancy to this point:
I started
my pregnancy with very high health expectations, drinking
herbal pregnancy infusions, walking for exercise, and eating a rather
balanced diet. Well, winter came and with it the morning sickness and I
was lost in the land of Sick, Tired and Cranky. These symptoms were
probably exacerbated by the fact that in my previous pregnancies I could
consume dairy with abandon, which was my morning sickness cure of
choice. With cow dairy a no-go and goat dairy a little too strong for my
sensitive palate, I was left with occasional cravings for fast food, so
long as I ate slowly, and cereal with almond milk. Sometimes I would
find a food that worked for a few days but then I would throw it up and
that made it inedible. It just became a matter of fact that the moment I
walked into the kitchen I would start either dry-heaving or throw up in
the sink. Amazingly in the six weeks that I had morning sickness I only
lost 8 lbs.
Aside from dealing with morning sickness, one
of the things that was very difficult for me was my dear, kind,
well-meaning friends would always ask how I was feeling (every pregnant
woman hears this a lot) and when I would say, quite honestly, "sick,
miserable, etc." they would say "GREAT! That means the baby is going to
stay." Here I would just like to make a public service announcement:
Morning sickness doesn't guarantee that you won't miscarry. I was sick
even with my missed miscarriage where the baby died at 10 weeks. I was
sick even after the baby died and it wasn't until a few days before I
miscarried, somewhere in week 12, that I was feeling better. It is hard
to know what to say to any sick pregnant woman but sometimes "Can I
bring you meal?" is the very best thing and is always music to my ears.
Sadly,
Pinzey and Posie had to go. Their previous owner graciously agreed to
take them back, so while we were out our investment, I could relax in
the knowledge that they were being groomed by someone who had the time,
energy and expertise to do a good job. I felt so bad that I wasn't able
to give those rabbits the grooming time that they needed and really, if
you have angora rabbits, you should be grooming them at least once per week, preferably twice.
Andrew and I have decided to make a pact that we will no longer indulge
each other in micro-homesteading with animals (aside from the worms, of
course) until we have a house with a nice sized back yard and no HOA.
On
New Years Eve, at 13 weeks pregnant, we were able to hear the heartbeat
for the first time and for Andrew, that was the biggest relief in the
world. For me, it just did not feel real no matter how hard I tried,
possibly because the worrisome cramping that I had been having the
entire pregnancy had continued with no sign of stopping. At week 14 I
magically started to feel better. It was like a miracle how much better I
felt, and then the little flutters that I had started feeling in week
12 really started to feel like baby movement. During week 15 I felt the
baby kick my hand from the outside and it was such a surprise and a
delight.
Today my midwife came by for my 4 month
check-up and once again we heard the heart beat. More impressive to me
was that my uterus had grown so much in the three weeks since my midwife
had last visited and the top of my fundus was only two fingers below my
navel. I had thought to have been feeling kicks up that high but
couldn't believe it since my uterus should still be about 4 fingers
below my navel. It was very validating that what I am feeling really is
my baby moving about. Also it means that what I have thought of as my
"pudge" is actually a baby where I just thought I was bloated. Fun
stuff!
There is my pregnancy thus far. I am hoping this
winter hurries up and gets over with so I can get on with my spring
gardening plans: Potatoes! In just a few weeks we will have our anatomy ultrasound and maybe get a peek and our baby's gender. Things to look forward to.
